consistently cold.

WARNING: the following thoughts occurred to me at 6:45am on thursday morning, over a cup of $0.40 gas station coffee, while sitting in the parking lot of cvs. take that for what it's worth.

several times this week i've found myself shivering. that's right...just flat out cold. i assumed it was the culmination of two things: 1) my darling mother who refuses to turn the heat on in the house until, & i quote, "you can't stand it anymore" because, & again i quote, "the power company says" it's most efficient. [no matter how many layers you must put on, blankets you add to the bed, or how frozen your appendages (i like that word) are in the early morning hours] OR 2) the weather FINALLY changing and my stubborn refusal to wear closed-toes shoes, anything but shorts, and sleep with two fans on. regardless of reason or blame, though, i've been cold.

so yesterday morning when my alarms - yes, i have to have 2 - started screaming at 5:45 and faux began meowing and pawing at my face incessantly to make them stop, i awoke to find that i could not feel my nose nor could i feel my right hand...the ONLY things not covered by 3 blankets. i did NOT look forward to the moment when i had to move the blankets and the cold air would rush to the rest of my body. if you know me at all, you know i'm anything but a morning person. so when i finally talked myself into rolling out of bed, i immediately began grumbling the following...

"two fans, seriously? it's frickin' cold in here. miserably cold."

"faux - i love you but shut up."

"i seriously can't feel anything."

"i hate the mornings."

"India."

which finally brings me to the actual point of this blog. let me unpack that last statement. several years ago i spent Christmas and new year's in northern india. prior to the trip, my team of four and i met with the missionaries we were to meet over there. they prepared us in every way possible for what we would encounter. one thing that i have always remembered them saying was about the weather. in the winter - in the mountains of india - it's flat out cold. they kept repeating it over and over. so, of course, being the inexperienced traveler that i am, i immediately thought of igloos and eskimos. i was soon corrected when they said, "it actually doesn't get too much colder in india than it does here in the winter; however, the problem is they don't have heat...so they never have a break from the cold."

so as i sat in my car before work this morning i still was absolutely freezing. thoughts of india flooded my mind as i sat spoiled in my personal car, wrapped up in clean clothes i had not already worn this week, drinking a cup of hot coffee made with clean water, and with the heat on full blast. all i could think about was how cold i was and how much my inability to get warm reminded me of those three weeks. and it hit me...

in reference to our walks with the Lord, the problem is not in how cold we are at times, rather it is in our inability to warm back up to Him. being cold isn't the issue - it's when we are consistently cold that it causes real misery.

no matter how far we may stray from the Lord at times, no matter how much of a cold shoulder we may turn to Him...we can always turn back. the problem is not a disaster when it's temporary. when we refuse to do our part, though, in growing that relationship we have become consistently cold to Him. when we refuse to spend that quiet time in prayer and in His Word, that is when we have lost all sense of true priority and that is when our lives begin to fall apart.

maybe that's not quite as much of a wow-moment for you as it was for me...but i thought it was AWESOME! it's encouraging to be reminded that we all fall short at times...we all turn the cold shoulder to the One whose arms remain open. but it's ok. just don't allow satan to seep in and tempt you to grow consistently cold.

funny thing is, i got so caught up in my thoughts that i didn't realize how hot it was getting in the car. you know, that "i'm suffocating because of the heat" feeling! it's terrible. and what's more, i opened my Bible and read a verse that said "walk in the light of the fire". i get it, God...You've got jokes. good one.