a bird's-eye view & a peak into God's perspective

So I started this post back before camp...completely forgot about it until tonight when I finished it up! ;)

I remember going to the beach as a young child & begging, literally BEGGING, anyone in my family of 5 to play with me in the ocean! I never understood why I was the only one who seemed to enjoy it! It wasn’t fair!! I was too little to go out as far as I wanted alone and playing in the water wasn’t very much fun anyway. Besides, half of the time before I even realized it I was ¼ of a mile down the beach from my family and having a panicky, “I’ve lost my mom in the grocery store” breakdown. Every once in a while dad would give in and he and I would embark on a mission: get past where the waves were breaking and float in the calm water until we spotted the perfect wave beginning to swell at which point we’d start swimming like crazy in hopes that we would meet the wave at just the right moment & body surf all the way to the shore. I’m pretty sure it only happened like 4 times…ever. Didn’t matter though. I guess you could say it was “the thrill of the chase” that kept me wanting to go again and again. As much as I hated & feared being thrown around by the massive waves, my lips shriveling up from the gallon and a half of salt water I ingested, being sucked under the water by the current all the while scraping my back on the ocean floor and thinking “this is it, I’m going to die…because I can’t catch a breath and I can’t get my footing to stand up”, and accumulating half a pound of VERY UNCOMFORTABLE sand in the bottom of my bathing suit, it was well-worth it to catch those 4 amazing 8.5 second rides. Those were good times.

Today, however, I hate the ocean. I take that back…I LOVE the beach. In fact, personally, it is one of the most sacred places one could ever experience. I absolutely love the sights and sounds…especially at night. It really makes you realize how Big our God truly is. However, I am literally petrified to swim in the ocean. After snorkeling in Panama one summer I saw enough. If that’s what was going on under clear water, I did not want to know what was going on under the murky waters of Myrtle Beach. Somewhere between that experience, "Jaws", jellyfish, & an allergic reaction involving sunscreen & salt water, I realized humans are idiots for stepping foot in the ocean. So rarely, if ever, will you find me past knee-deep water. If I can’t see me in the water, me ain’t goin’ in the water! I have a similar fear in lakes too, but it’s quite different and I speak rationally to myself to overcome that particular fear. All that being said, I do miss the fun times I once had out in the water!

Anyway, this week my parents and I are at the beach and this afternoon after I’d come inside I was standing in the kitchen pouring a glass of tea and I looked up and was taken back by the view from our 11th floor balcony. The bird’s-eye view of the ocean never gets old. That’s when I started thinking about all of this. I walked over to the glass door and looked out at the families playing in the water. Several thoughts came to mind:

- Somewhere between middle school & college I was quite shocked that the waves no longer seemed as big as they used to be. What was going on? I think it’s quite simply that my perspective has changed…much like when you walked the halls of your elementary school and thought the place was huge only to return at 18 and realize how small everything actually was. The waves are so incredibly small in comparison to the rest of the body of water. They seem to break only close to the shore and beyond that all is, for the most part, calm. When we’re down in the middle of those waves, we’re fighting and struggling to get past them. The massive wave breaking over our heads is all we can see. Time and time again we’re knocked down and we feel as though we’ll never get past the waves. How true is that of the tough trials in our lives? The reality is, if we could only see things from God’s perspective we’d realize how small our problems really are. From the balcony I peered out in shock that the breaking waves encompassed not even a 1/10 of the massive body of water before me. There's so much more calm beyond the chaos. The waves, though they may set us back more times than we’d like, do not crash down on us forever...nor do they crash down on us longer than we can handle. Are we persistent enough to trust that?
I’m reminded of these lyrics:
“But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failedThe waves they keep on telling me time and time again’Boy, you'll never win, you'll never win, you'll never win.’
But the voice of truth tells me a different story.
The voice of Truth says ‘Do not be afraid’
The voice of Truth says ‘This is for My Glory’
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The voice of Truth.”

- I was also overcome by an intense desire to jump in a plane or boat and fly/sail straight ahead until I reached land on the other end…just to see where I’d end up. Where does that massive body of water stop? Even though I am blessed with an awesome view of the ocean, I found myself thinking – it’s not enough. I want to see more…I want to see the end. My balcony view gave me an awesome, new perspective...but I would never be truly satisfied until I could see it all. I’ll never see it all though. It’s just a bird’s eye view of where I am in this moment...which is the closest I’ll ever get to His omnipresent view and perspective.

- Life is so much easier as a fearless child. Fear exists now because I know what’s really out there and I now realize I am not exempt from pain. Though I’ve never been stung by a jellyfish or attacked by a shark…I’ve learned from the experiences of others. I've seen it happen to them. Now fear resides within me. How true is that of our spiritual lives, too? God doesn't promise that living the Christian life will be easy. In fact, He blatantly states that we, as Christians, are called to a life of suffering. We are not exempt from pain...and they definitely don't teach you that in sunday school. But it's so true. I look into the lives of some of my dearest friends who live for the Lord and they have been through some of the most heart-breaking circumstances, yet they have allowed the Lord to shine through every step of the way. The purpose of the suffering is to point the finger to Christ and say look at what He's done for us and look at the hope we have because of Him!! So like I said, life is easier as a fearless child, but easier isn't always best.

Lots of random thoughts, but I didn't want to leave something I started a few months ago on the shelf and never post it. Now I want to go to the beach.

Road trip anyone?