i'm a good-for-nothin brick & a 2-timin' church dater.

so a couple of weeks ago i went to meet my mom at work as we were "carpooling" to get our haircut. she was supposed to get off at 1, but i got there a little early & she was running a little late. she works at a nearby church doing administrative "stuff" and currently they are without a pastor. so i roamed around the building like i usually do. every time i'm there i find something new! haha...time before last i played the piano in the sanctuary which i love doing. last time i discovered the jr. high sunday school class which has nicer furniture than my bedroom, several tvs, and an empty fridge. haha...yes, i looked inside the fridge ;)

this time however, because there is no pastor the "pastor's study" was open. so i found myself looking around in there. nothing to look at really...a desk, a table and 4 chairs, and a ton of almost empty bookshelves. i say almost empty because right by the door there were 6-7 of these books by joshua harris - the guy who wrote "i kissed dating goodbye" - which i haven't read...yet. i figured i've never really kissed it hello, but i'd still like to read it. anyway, the title of this book caught my eye. so, i swiped it. no, i didn't steal from the presbyterian church...i borrowed. there's a difference...i'll give it back...one day. i really will. and until then, no one will know it's gone - it won't be missed. mom said the old pastor used the book in a class with a group at the church. that caught me by surprise. so i started it. no, i haven't yet finished...just like every other book i start - but i'm working on it!

it's really good. that being said, so far i've taken from it that i'm a good-for-nothin brick & a 2-timin' church dater. sometimes we need to be told like it is! let me quote the book some here...at least the parts i relate to and those that pretty much sum up my life:

"i was raised in a Christian home [me too], but even though the church played a big part in my life growing up, for many years it didn't have a big place in my heart. [me either] my first home as a child was across the street from the little Baptist church [yep]...my dad was a pastor [yep]...but after two disillusioning church (issues), he left [pretty much...dad's still in the ministry, but not at those churches]...when i graduated from high school, i started visiting around [yep]. i loved God and had big dreams for how i wanted to serve Him, but i didn't see any reason to get too involved in one church. by then, i thought i knew all there was to know about the church, and i wasn't impressed. [agreed.]" i'll just say i can completely relate to that feeling...and leave it at that. i could go on & on about why i feel the way i do, but i want to get to the part about bricks & church dating...and i'm not at all here to bash the church. i love the church...the church is my family.

harris talks about how we are the living body of Christ - made of living stones. "He calls us the body of Christ. we're more than brothers & sisters in Christ. as we express our union with Him through service, worship, & love we become the physical manifestation of our Savior on earth...Heaven sees the church as a magnificent temple...composed of living stones (i peter 2:5)...Jesus Himself is the cornerstone, and you and i are being joined to it". now, i've heard this over and over, but something about how it was expressed here really hit home. (eph. 2:21-22). he also talked about how we are all linked together with one another, with the apostles, & with the Lord b/c we are all a part of this structure. how cool is that that we're connected with people like peter & paul?? we are a part of something SO much bigger than ourselves! harris also commented on how denominations were tearing apart unity when, in reality, they CAN make unity more achievable. i had to chew on that one for awhile, but i think i agree. "denominations allow us to have organizational unity where we have FULL agreement and allow us to have spiritual unity with other denominations since we are not forced to argue our way to perfect agreement but can accept our differences of OPINION on SECONDARY matters...pray for God to work through other Christians even though they might worship differently than we do & stay humble about doctrinal differences of secondary importance. through His church, spread out around the world, Jesus is glorifying Himself and extending His reign in ways that no single person, congregation, OR denomination could do alone." i liked that. a LOT. let's stop fighting about issues that ultimately, don't make an eternal difference and start working together spreading the main facts we know to be true. i've never been so drawn to worship than when i stood beside believers in india as they sang worship songs in their nepali tongue. i sang in english. it was just a mere GLIMPSE of what Heaven will be like when every nation and every tongue will glorify the Father with one voice. amazing. that's just a personal side note. anyway, back to the bricks.

in describing good-for-nothing bricks, harris explains "i know there are some who say, 'well i have given myself to the Lord, but i do not intend to give myself to the church. now why not? because i can be a Christian without it. [yes, i have said this many times...b/c i've seen the crap that sometimes comes out of churches...what goes on behind closed doors...but harris continues in asking us] are you quite clear about that?" and this is the part that got me..."you can be as good a Christian by disobedience to your Lord's commands (not being a part of a church body) as by being obedient? what is a brick made for? to help build a house. it is of no use for that brick to tell you it is just as good a brick while it is kicking about on the ground as it would be in the house. it is a good-for-nothing brick. so you rolling-stone Christians [i LOVE it when people are in your face...thanks!], i do not believe that you are answering your purpose. [ouch.] you are living contrary to the life which Christ would have you life, and you are much to blame for the injury you do."

i have allowed myself to be that brick. i'm slowly learning to get past the grudges i hold towards the church. i don't want to be that brick. i want to be a part of the living structure bigger than myself. another realization was that i need my neighbors. i cannot stand alone...bricks are of no use alone. refusing to rely on others in a healthy manner makes me just as much a good-for-nothing brick as refusing to step foot in a church.

as for being a church dater...
in the book, harris talks about his friend nathan who "attended two churches on sundays - one because he liked their music, the other because he liked the preaching. and his involvement in both went no deeper. at the first church he'd slip out just before the last song wound down and drive to the other church 5 mins away. he even factored in time to stop for an egg mcmuffin. he timed it so that he'd be walking into the 2nd church just as the pastor started to preach. i guess you could say nathan was two-timing."

i've been that person too. for four years i've dated church after church, never committing and with absolutely no intention of settling down with any of them. i've never thought about it in the dating sense before, but if someone i was dating treated me like that, i wouldn't be very happy. i want commitment. i want someone who is as passionate about me as i am about him. try that on for size as far as looking at the church from God's perspective. "what practiced daters like nathan [and me...haha, i'm a practiced dater] don't realize is that what they assume is working for their personal gain is actually resulting in serious loss - for themselves and others...when we resist passion and commitment in our relationship with the church, everyone gets cheated out of God's best."

i know i say this all the time, but i could go on and on. but i'll let you pull from all of this what you want. i just wanted to share what's opened my eyes. apparently, i'm a good-for-nothin brick & a 2-timin' church dater. i'm workin on it. :)

2 very random, but good, thoughts to end on:

- i've had MANY more conversations over several days and MANY hours w/ himanshu. continue to pray...it's been AMAZING. he's asking about salvation and questioning EVERYTHING he's been taught :) i'll keep you updated.
- homemade, mennoninte, oatmeal whoopi cookies. (don't ask...but YOU know.)