i don't usually blog this often, but for whatever reason lately (despite the massive amount of schoolwork to do) i've felt both compelled & inspired to write.
today marked the beginning of easter break.
for those of you who aren't familiar with easter break, let me clue you in: it's not a break.
it's a week off of classes but a week of intense paper-writing...all the while juggling work, travel & time with family. i, personally, have 4 papers/projects to do. this is the first break, however, in the last year and a half that i have not traveled. so the last of the roommates left early this afternoon...leaving me to weather the storms of the week alone...yes, pun definitely intended.
around 4pm today the rain started to fall. i started getting messages from friends informing me of a bad storm headed our way. all day i'd thought it looked like the typical "tornado-weather" day. little did i know it actually was. long, long story short (because it's not the point of the post at all) i very quickly found myself...
without power,
without a tv/radio,
without a computer
& very aware of the fact that i was without my roommates.
when i saw the rain spiraling outside our 2nd story balcony i grabbed a candle, a piper book & all the pillows off my bed and jumped in the tub (all the while thinking to myself - this really isn't going to do much good in a 2nd story apartment).
come to find out...we'd been issued a tornado warning as well as a tornado watch...and wake county was "in a state of emergency" (whatever that means). lee county (right "next door") had several tornadoes touch down & several deaths as a result. several touched down in raleigh, too.
as of sunday morning:
80+ tornadoes touched down yesterday in nc
22+ deaths
several missing
32,000+ still without power close to 24 hours after (power poles & lines completely ripped out of the ground & missing)
our entire apartment complex as well as the connecting neighborhood (& much of wake forest) was without power from 4-10pm...which brings me to my point in writing.
i spent a lot of time in the dark today.
i spent a lot of time alone today.
i spent a lot of time extremely reliant on my phone today.
once it got dark & i could no longer strain to read my articles & books i looked up and saw the moon almost perfectly shining onto my balcony and into the sliding glass door. i was surrounded by candles & the sound of the wind coming through the screen...it was pretty picture perfect. almost instinctively i picked up my guitar and the first song i started playing was...
who wrote the rain
who wrote the sun in
who called your name
where are you running
i'm gonna be there near or far
i'm gonna meet you where you are
who wrote the rain
who wrote the sun in
pretty incredible that the song is called, "you will find Me". He was there today. always is.
sometimes it takes a storm to get us to stop - to drag us away from our phones, computers, friends, whatever...
"sometimes our God seizes a backdrop of darkness in order to accentuate His Light."
no matter what the storm, though, we can find Him there.
later on i left to run an errand and when i returned i saw seminary students everywhere around our dark apartment complex. at almost every building you could see the shimmer of a small flashlight and a small crowd of people...just talking. the light of the moon provided more light than any of us had in our apartments. so for 15 minutes or so i sat in the back of my SUV with the door open just taking it all in.
the moon.
the stars.
the wind.
the voices.
looking around at the darkness i was reminded of my overseas experiences. i was reminded, specifically, of africa. and that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.
COMMUNITY.
those countries are so communal...they don't live for television, radio, and internet. and when we're forced outside of that, neither do we. in those moments when we're stripped away from those things, we RUN to community.
interesting.
just some thoughts to ponder.
this isn't the typical, well-thought out, flows just perfectly blog.
where do YOU find Him?
when do YOU run to community?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
You Won't Relent
against every single ounce of judgment in musicality in me i'm posting this song. what i wouldn't give to be able to actually record this song with these two...the 3-part harmony that you can't really hear is incredible...and the song is AMAZING. the version on youtube is 13 minutes long...so, for now, this cut-off, TERRIBLE quality video will have to do! warning: turn down the volume! ;)
"You Won't Relent"
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I'll set You as a shield upon my heart
As a shield upon my heart
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I'll set You as a shield upon my heart
As a seal upon my heart
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one
"You Won't Relent"
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I'll set You as a shield upon my heart
As a shield upon my heart
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I'll set You as a shield upon my heart
As a seal upon my heart
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one
Thursday, April 07, 2011
tonight
not avoiding the other posts on south africa!!!! they will come soon!
just finally posting a really rough recording of a song from this summer.
pardon the terrible audio quality...
& as for the waves in the background -
just a reminder of where i was when i wrote it.
the ocean will always be a place that brings me to my knees!
posting the lyrics again as i changed a few words!
another long night
i sit here & cry
when will i speak the words i feel deep inside
lost & confused
you're slightly amused
moved on like everything we were was alright
you're alright
alright
but tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in my presence
tonight
open your heart & be washed by the waters of my love
my love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin that i don't belong
push away the world
& run into Your arms
lay my head upon Your chest & listen to Your heart
to Your heart
Your heart
to Your heart
and you said
tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
I know you're trying
to earn back My Love
but the blood of My Son
was more than Enough
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
child, just stop trying
to earn back My Love
cause the blood of My Son
was more than Enough
so tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
just open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin
i'm where i belong
just finally posting a really rough recording of a song from this summer.
pardon the terrible audio quality...
& as for the waves in the background -
just a reminder of where i was when i wrote it.
the ocean will always be a place that brings me to my knees!
posting the lyrics again as i changed a few words!
another long night
i sit here & cry
when will i speak the words i feel deep inside
lost & confused
you're slightly amused
moved on like everything we were was alright
you're alright
alright
but tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in my presence
tonight
open your heart & be washed by the waters of my love
my love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin that i don't belong
push away the world
& run into Your arms
lay my head upon Your chest & listen to Your heart
to Your heart
Your heart
to Your heart
and you said
tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
I know you're trying
to earn back My Love
but the blood of My Son
was more than Enough
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
child, just stop trying
to earn back My Love
cause the blood of My Son
was more than Enough
so tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
just open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin
i'm where i belong
Thursday, March 31, 2011
south africa - 1 of many to come...
It’s taken me well over a week to even begin to sum up my recent experiences in Cape Town, South Africa. No picture, journal or video could ever come close to adequately describing how the Lord worked in my own heart and life that week. There were so many moments that will forever be etched in my mind. Two, in particular, stand out to me tonight as I reflect.
Each afternoon our team had the opportunity to work with the girls & boys clubs at several schools in the area that the missionaries are currently working with. One afternoon our 7 girls got to sit down and share testimonies with the 7 girls that attended that day. With each story we shared, they grew ever more intent on listening. After 45 minutes of talking, we had one last testimony to share. We’d told them earlier that afternoon that we had a gift for each of them. So, to break up the monotony we gave them the option of getting their gifts or hearing the last story. To our surprise, they all insisted in unison on hearing the story first. The hunger and thirst these girls had for discipleship was so overwhelmingly evident! They cared little about the material and yearned, instead, for this Love that we spoke of.
The next day at another school we had a similar experience. After sharing we placed an angel pin on the sweater of each girl and talked about God’s love for them. Kneeling down I looked into the eyes of my new friend and asked her, “So what are you going to remember every time you see this pin?” With tears in her eyes she replied, “Jesus loves me.” I turned to do the same to the young lady seated next to her. I asked her the same question. When she had no answer I turned back to the first girl. Again I asked her, “Will you tell her what you are going to remember every time you look at this pin?” And again, with a tear rolling down her cheek, she declared, “Jesus loves me.” I’m not so sure anyone had ever told her that before.
Since I’ve been back, several startling facts & statistics have been running through my mind daily. We were told that:
Every 26 seconds someone in South Africa is raped.
Every 28 minutes a child in South Africa is raped.
2,000 people a day contract HIV/AIDS
There is a commonly held myth that if you rape a young child or virgin you can rid yourself of AIDS.
Children in South Africa are forced to grow up faster than they should. The children we interacted with have faced far more than most of us ever will. They need to know there is hope beyond this world. They need to know there is Love beyond comprehension. The more I spent time with the people of South Africa, the more my heart yearned to share with them this Love that I’ve grown up so privileged to know about.
May we continue to PRAY expectantly for these children & the missionaries who are diligently sharing this message of hope and love with them.
May we GIVE generously & with glad hearts to support that work in South Africa & around the world.
May we GO without hesitation wherever He leads to fulfill the calling the Lord has placed on each of our lives.
More to come on the trip SOON!
Each afternoon our team had the opportunity to work with the girls & boys clubs at several schools in the area that the missionaries are currently working with. One afternoon our 7 girls got to sit down and share testimonies with the 7 girls that attended that day. With each story we shared, they grew ever more intent on listening. After 45 minutes of talking, we had one last testimony to share. We’d told them earlier that afternoon that we had a gift for each of them. So, to break up the monotony we gave them the option of getting their gifts or hearing the last story. To our surprise, they all insisted in unison on hearing the story first. The hunger and thirst these girls had for discipleship was so overwhelmingly evident! They cared little about the material and yearned, instead, for this Love that we spoke of.
The next day at another school we had a similar experience. After sharing we placed an angel pin on the sweater of each girl and talked about God’s love for them. Kneeling down I looked into the eyes of my new friend and asked her, “So what are you going to remember every time you see this pin?” With tears in her eyes she replied, “Jesus loves me.” I turned to do the same to the young lady seated next to her. I asked her the same question. When she had no answer I turned back to the first girl. Again I asked her, “Will you tell her what you are going to remember every time you look at this pin?” And again, with a tear rolling down her cheek, she declared, “Jesus loves me.” I’m not so sure anyone had ever told her that before.
Since I’ve been back, several startling facts & statistics have been running through my mind daily. We were told that:
Every 26 seconds someone in South Africa is raped.
Every 28 minutes a child in South Africa is raped.
2,000 people a day contract HIV/AIDS
There is a commonly held myth that if you rape a young child or virgin you can rid yourself of AIDS.
Children in South Africa are forced to grow up faster than they should. The children we interacted with have faced far more than most of us ever will. They need to know there is hope beyond this world. They need to know there is Love beyond comprehension. The more I spent time with the people of South Africa, the more my heart yearned to share with them this Love that I’ve grown up so privileged to know about.
May we continue to PRAY expectantly for these children & the missionaries who are diligently sharing this message of hope and love with them.
May we GIVE generously & with glad hearts to support that work in South Africa & around the world.
May we GO without hesitation wherever He leads to fulfill the calling the Lord has placed on each of our lives.
More to come on the trip SOON!
Friday, March 11, 2011
another taste of africa...
quick update...which will probably be in short sentences & all over the place!!!
many of you know i have a heart for international missions. the Lord has been gracious to throw yet another opportunity into my lap...& not just the opportunity, but the provisions as well!
3 of my passions in life [faith & family understood]:
- music
- camp ministries
- taking the gospel to the unreached
this past summer i did camp for the 6th consecutive year - this time, though, with a new organization. i worked for lifeway with centrifuge camps in panama city beach, florida. i will return there again this summer as well - and i'm PUMPED!
why? because not only do i get to continue a ministry i love for the SEVENTH summer (which is absolutely mind-blowing when i actually stop to think about it), but i get to do so having taken an even more intimate part in the missions partnership. this summer starts a new 5-year partnership between FUGE camps & south africa. hence, our trip.
so tomorrow a group of almost 30 staff from camps across the US will meet in atlanta (some for the first time) and head out for SA! we will split into 3 teams and spread out across johannesburg, soweto, & cape town. each team will do something different, but our ultimate goals are the same - 1) to minister to the people (as well as the missionaries) of South Africa and 2) to learn more about life, the people, culture, needs, etc. this coming summer when camp starts up, those of us who have had the experience get to share that with our respective staffs & spread the word to our students as well. i'm so pumped to have such a first-hand experience directly tied in with what these kids are giving money to support each week!
please pray for us!
the cape town team (of which i am a part) will be worshiping with the people of SA on sunday and making further preparations that night.
then, monday-friday we will be working in 3 different schools tutoring, doing after school clubs, etc. - loving on the kids & sharing the Gospel of Truth & Love!
thank you SO MUCH for the continued support & prayer!
update soon after we get back!
many of you know i have a heart for international missions. the Lord has been gracious to throw yet another opportunity into my lap...& not just the opportunity, but the provisions as well!
3 of my passions in life [faith & family understood]:
- music
- camp ministries
- taking the gospel to the unreached
this past summer i did camp for the 6th consecutive year - this time, though, with a new organization. i worked for lifeway with centrifuge camps in panama city beach, florida. i will return there again this summer as well - and i'm PUMPED!
why? because not only do i get to continue a ministry i love for the SEVENTH summer (which is absolutely mind-blowing when i actually stop to think about it), but i get to do so having taken an even more intimate part in the missions partnership. this summer starts a new 5-year partnership between FUGE camps & south africa. hence, our trip.
so tomorrow a group of almost 30 staff from camps across the US will meet in atlanta (some for the first time) and head out for SA! we will split into 3 teams and spread out across johannesburg, soweto, & cape town. each team will do something different, but our ultimate goals are the same - 1) to minister to the people (as well as the missionaries) of South Africa and 2) to learn more about life, the people, culture, needs, etc. this coming summer when camp starts up, those of us who have had the experience get to share that with our respective staffs & spread the word to our students as well. i'm so pumped to have such a first-hand experience directly tied in with what these kids are giving money to support each week!
please pray for us!
the cape town team (of which i am a part) will be worshiping with the people of SA on sunday and making further preparations that night.
then, monday-friday we will be working in 3 different schools tutoring, doing after school clubs, etc. - loving on the kids & sharing the Gospel of Truth & Love!
thank you SO MUCH for the continued support & prayer!
update soon after we get back!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
set the bar high.
don't EVER lower your standards...
be slow to speak,
quick to listen...
and quick to forgive...
but don't EVER lower your standards.
be slow to speak,
quick to listen...
and quick to forgive...
but don't EVER lower your standards.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
how my heart yearns.
the heart is a funny thing.
i was recently challenged by this question when i said it out loud to a friend & realized i was the one that was supposed to be hearing it:
do you seek & pursue the restoration of your relationship with Jesus
with the same intensity,
fervor
& determination
that you seek & pursue the restoration, or even the the simple existence,
of earthly relationships?
do you really?
i don't.
i care so much about what others think of me - from strangers to my closest friends...but do i care that much what Jesus thinks when He looks at my life? wait, if i'm really honest with myself - do i care at all? what about my heart? what DOES my heart look like?
where do i turn in the midst of bad news? people.
fear? people.
pain? people.
heartache? people.
loss? people.
stress? running. food. sleep. then people.
joy? people.
excitement? people.
elation? people.
good news? people.
what about in the mundane moments of everyday life...even then...people.
but Jesus is not one of those people...at least, not until i've run to all the others first...if ever.
the problem is people fail. people aren't meant to be on the thrones of our hearts...Jesus is. how do i run to Him, then?
prayer...
in the midst of difficult times, the Lord is near...but whether we choose to acknowledge His presence, His arms & His sovereignty in our circumstances is up to us. do you fall on your face before Him? are you real with Him? do you cry to Him?
i recently read through the book of Job...a story i thought i was so familiar with, but it blew me away. Job lost everything. his family. his security. all that he had worked for. his possessions. even his health. Job struggled immensely. he expressed, "my face is red with weeping, deep shadows ring my eyes...my spirit is broken...my eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow...my days have passed, my plans are shattered and so are the desires of my heart" (16:16, 17:1, 7, 11). he despaired of life & even questioned his existence. he asked a lot of "whys."
how often do we do the same? when the things of this world - when the people of this world - are stripped from us. when we lose all that is precious to us, don't we begin to ask the whys? don't we allow grief to overcome & satan to whisper lies making us question, at times, why we are even alive? whatever the form of your question...
there is hope.
Job spoke powerful words in the midst of such pain.
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see Him with my own eyes - I, and not another.
HOW MY HEART YEARNS WITHIN ME...
I am not silenced by the darkness, by the thick darkness that covers my face."
Job 19:25-27 & 23:17
so what does your heart yearn for most? as i was reminded this morning - there is purpose in brokenness. as david proclaimed, "let the bones you have crushed rejoice" (psalm 51:8) because that brokenness is part of our healing. no matter the circumstance - good or bad - for what does your heart most yearn? like Job, may we keep our eyes on the eternal, always remembering that when all else fails, when all is stripped from us, our purpose remains and our hope in the eternal is secure.
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee
(brooke fraser)
the heart is a funny thing...
but may that be the all-consuming prayer of your heart...
"til i only dwell in Thee."
i was recently challenged by this question when i said it out loud to a friend & realized i was the one that was supposed to be hearing it:
do you seek & pursue the restoration of your relationship with Jesus
with the same intensity,
fervor
& determination
that you seek & pursue the restoration, or even the the simple existence,
of earthly relationships?
do you really?
i don't.
i care so much about what others think of me - from strangers to my closest friends...but do i care that much what Jesus thinks when He looks at my life? wait, if i'm really honest with myself - do i care at all? what about my heart? what DOES my heart look like?
where do i turn in the midst of bad news? people.
fear? people.
pain? people.
heartache? people.
loss? people.
stress? running. food. sleep. then people.
joy? people.
excitement? people.
elation? people.
good news? people.
what about in the mundane moments of everyday life...even then...people.
but Jesus is not one of those people...at least, not until i've run to all the others first...if ever.
the problem is people fail. people aren't meant to be on the thrones of our hearts...Jesus is. how do i run to Him, then?
prayer...
in the midst of difficult times, the Lord is near...but whether we choose to acknowledge His presence, His arms & His sovereignty in our circumstances is up to us. do you fall on your face before Him? are you real with Him? do you cry to Him?
i recently read through the book of Job...a story i thought i was so familiar with, but it blew me away. Job lost everything. his family. his security. all that he had worked for. his possessions. even his health. Job struggled immensely. he expressed, "my face is red with weeping, deep shadows ring my eyes...my spirit is broken...my eyes have grown dim with grief; my whole frame is but a shadow...my days have passed, my plans are shattered and so are the desires of my heart" (16:16, 17:1, 7, 11). he despaired of life & even questioned his existence. he asked a lot of "whys."
how often do we do the same? when the things of this world - when the people of this world - are stripped from us. when we lose all that is precious to us, don't we begin to ask the whys? don't we allow grief to overcome & satan to whisper lies making us question, at times, why we are even alive? whatever the form of your question...
there is hope.
Job spoke powerful words in the midst of such pain.
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see Him with my own eyes - I, and not another.
HOW MY HEART YEARNS WITHIN ME...
I am not silenced by the darkness, by the thick darkness that covers my face."
Job 19:25-27 & 23:17
so what does your heart yearn for most? as i was reminded this morning - there is purpose in brokenness. as david proclaimed, "let the bones you have crushed rejoice" (psalm 51:8) because that brokenness is part of our healing. no matter the circumstance - good or bad - for what does your heart most yearn? like Job, may we keep our eyes on the eternal, always remembering that when all else fails, when all is stripped from us, our purpose remains and our hope in the eternal is secure.
If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee
'Til I only dwell in Thee
(brooke fraser)
the heart is a funny thing...
but may that be the all-consuming prayer of your heart...
"til i only dwell in Thee."
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Monday, October 04, 2010
tonight
a song i wrote throughout this summer...
finally finished it.
hope to get a rough recording up soon on here :)
"tonight"
summer 2010
another long night
i sit here & cry
when will i speak the words i feel deep inside
lost & confused
you're slightly amused
moved on like everything we were was alright
you're alright
alright
but tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in my presence
tonight
open your heart & be washed by the waters of my love
my love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin that i don't belong
push away the world
& run into Your arms
lay my head upon Your chest & listen to Your heart
to Your heart
Your heart
to Your heart
and you said
tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
I know you're trying
to earn back My Love
but a cross & three nails
was more than Enough
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
child, just stop trying
to earn back My Love
cause a cross & three nails
was more than Enough
so tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
just open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin
i'm where i belong
finally finished it.
hope to get a rough recording up soon on here :)
"tonight"
summer 2010
another long night
i sit here & cry
when will i speak the words i feel deep inside
lost & confused
you're slightly amused
moved on like everything we were was alright
you're alright
alright
but tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in my presence
tonight
open your heart & be washed by the waters of my love
my love
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin that i don't belong
push away the world
& run into Your arms
lay my head upon Your chest & listen to Your heart
to Your heart
Your heart
to Your heart
and you said
tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
I know you're trying
to earn back My Love
but a cross & three nails
was more than Enough
i know you're hurting
i know you've failed
forgiven, forgotten
My Love will prevail
child, just stop trying
to earn back My Love
cause a cross & three nails
was more than Enough
so tonight
put away all your plans
& tonight
just rest in My presence
tonight
just open your heart
& be washed by the waters of My Love
tonight
i don't have words
i don't have a song
all i have's this feelin
i'm where i belong
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
beautiful.
the past 24-hours have been an absolute whirlwind. with such major decisions right at hand, i've found myself face down on the floor several times pleading with the Lord for guidance. yet, despite that awareness of how dependent i have to be on Him, i've neglected good time with Him. thankfully, this morning was quite different.
i've been reading off and on since last year through the book of acts. i have a problem though...i never finish books...whether it's sparks, chan, or paul...i just can't do it. i get ridiculously 'distracted' [maybe a more optimistic way of looking at it would be to say i get ridiculously 'caught up'] in detail. and i continue reading and rereading the same passages [or chapters] in whatever book i'm in at the time. without fail, every time i learn or notice something i hadn't previously.
so for probably the 5th time this year, i started the book of acts. last time i cracked it open, i was sitting in the heathrow airport in london during a 9-hour layover and the Lord blew me away with 1) the life of Judas & 2) the promise of joy in His presence...but that's another post for another day. this morning, chapter 3 caused me to put on the brakes.
the man who sat - BEGGING everyday - at the gate called Beautiful...right OUTSIDE the temple.
i've been that man.
i think we all have...or maybe we still are that man.
this man was crippled...literally & physically crippled...for his entire life. it consumed him. someone carried him everyday to the gate outside the temple and left him there to beg. he begged for what he thought he needed. alms. money. food. something to simply sustain him. why that someone didn't carry him TO the temple...just a LITTLE further is something we'll never know. but maybe that's because we can't rely on others to maintain our spiritual lives. yes, they can encourage...but they can't force us into the presence of the Lord. what kind of relationship with the Father would that be?? this man settled for less than the best. so do we. he was satisfied sitting at the gate called Beautiful OUTSIDE the temple...
and when he finally got up [actually 'lept' up!] and made his way INTO the temple...he rejoiced. and the people noticed. the people saw his life change. "and they were filled with wonder and amazement...utterly astounded" [3:9-11]
we get caught up in uncontrollable circumstances. we think we know what we should ask for. we think we know who can give us those things...or answers. we seek to take control of the situation. we think we know best. and we're SO CLOSE to the very thing we need the most, and yet we're so ignorant to the fact. so we continue...everyday...pleading for the things that ultimately don't matter. and nothing ever changes.
where are you? living day to day sitting outside at the gate called Beautiful, settling for simply begging for what you think you need to get by and maintain a sufficient life? or are you in the temple, in His presence, among the people, leaping and praising the Lord for His work in your life?
i've been that man.
i think we all have...or maybe we still are...
but...
it's time to get up.
i've been reading off and on since last year through the book of acts. i have a problem though...i never finish books...whether it's sparks, chan, or paul...i just can't do it. i get ridiculously 'distracted' [maybe a more optimistic way of looking at it would be to say i get ridiculously 'caught up'] in detail. and i continue reading and rereading the same passages [or chapters] in whatever book i'm in at the time. without fail, every time i learn or notice something i hadn't previously.
so for probably the 5th time this year, i started the book of acts. last time i cracked it open, i was sitting in the heathrow airport in london during a 9-hour layover and the Lord blew me away with 1) the life of Judas & 2) the promise of joy in His presence...but that's another post for another day. this morning, chapter 3 caused me to put on the brakes.
the man who sat - BEGGING everyday - at the gate called Beautiful...right OUTSIDE the temple.
i've been that man.
i think we all have...or maybe we still are that man.
this man was crippled...literally & physically crippled...for his entire life. it consumed him. someone carried him everyday to the gate outside the temple and left him there to beg. he begged for what he thought he needed. alms. money. food. something to simply sustain him. why that someone didn't carry him TO the temple...just a LITTLE further is something we'll never know. but maybe that's because we can't rely on others to maintain our spiritual lives. yes, they can encourage...but they can't force us into the presence of the Lord. what kind of relationship with the Father would that be?? this man settled for less than the best. so do we. he was satisfied sitting at the gate called Beautiful OUTSIDE the temple...
and when he finally got up [actually 'lept' up!] and made his way INTO the temple...he rejoiced. and the people noticed. the people saw his life change. "and they were filled with wonder and amazement...utterly astounded" [3:9-11]
we get caught up in uncontrollable circumstances. we think we know what we should ask for. we think we know who can give us those things...or answers. we seek to take control of the situation. we think we know best. and we're SO CLOSE to the very thing we need the most, and yet we're so ignorant to the fact. so we continue...everyday...pleading for the things that ultimately don't matter. and nothing ever changes.
where are you? living day to day sitting outside at the gate called Beautiful, settling for simply begging for what you think you need to get by and maintain a sufficient life? or are you in the temple, in His presence, among the people, leaping and praising the Lord for His work in your life?
i've been that man.
i think we all have...or maybe we still are...
but...
it's time to get up.
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